3 Things to Tell your Friend who wants to go back to Relaxers

Hey Curlies,

We all have that one friend or family member. The one that does something just because everyone else is so they can fit in. If this describes your friend, family member or even yourself, you may need a little encouragement when it comes to caring for your natural hair.

natural hair and relaxers

No doubt, this journey to healthy hair and overall wellness can be frustrating at times but I have some advice you may need to pass on if needed. For that friend (or inner self) that is ready to give up on natural hair and go back to the creamy crack (relaxer), here's what you need to know. Three things to tell your friend (or yourself) when they want to go back to relaxers.


1. Health comes first. Yes, we want our hair to appear a certain way but healthy hair and bodies are the overall goal here (well...on this site it is). When you feel like slapping that creamy crack in, think about all the damages it does to your body. From my research relaxers have harsh chemicals (like the same ones found in drain cleaners), have an insanely high pH rate–some over 12 although our bodies are around a 7. They burn on contact with the scalp and they smell weird. Ultimately, your skin is your biggest organ (this includes your scalp) and you are absorbing all of those chemicals into your body...think about it!

2. Narrow down the real problem. Are they frustrated because they can't find the right hair products? Have they not found the right styling tools? Hair styles? That is what online communities like this blog and other natural hair resources are for. Tell them to be patient and seriously consider their options. Figuring out the key to natural hair is easy once you breathe, relax and simplify your routine.

3. I'm not pretty enough. Have they done the big chop lately and simply just aren't feeling it? Maybe they don't feel like themselves or their hair texture isn't what they expected. That's truly the joy of natural hair and are moments you learn to enjoy along the way. This is why big chopping when YOU are ready is vital. Don't do it because it's trendy, do it because you're ready to accept and embrace (even if its not right away) the natural you. You'll have to look yourself in the mirror and say "This is what I've got and this is how I'm going to embrace it." Remember this is nothing wrong with being you. It is what you were made for so conquer being your best self.

At the end of the day, your friend should do what's best for them.